Tuesday, April 03, 2007
10:15 pm
Tonight is a good night. :) I feel like I am finally entering some state of rest.
Life has been...challenging as of late. I have been
so tired. I'm looking forward to these holidays so much! I really need to rejuvenate myself...to spend more time doing stuff that matters. Oh and there's youth camp coming in just five days! I love camps, I'm pretty excited. :) Going to meet lots of people, going to be immersed in God's Word and fun company. :) Messy games and prayer and late nights and encouragement. Looking forward to it!
I'm starting to feel a bit more like a part of Wesley Mission...I've been meeting heaps of new people every Sunday and I'm starting to make some good friends. :) It's this feeling of community that I guess I haven't felt in a while...tis good. Cell group on friday nights has proven to be a much more refreshing ending to my week than Jap tutoring (although I still go to this before cell group). We had dinner last friday night and took lots of silly photos! Was fun.
I've been hanging out with Blue Sky (the university students group) a lot too...more, actually. They are some of the most welcoming people I've ever met. :) Am seeing
300 with them this friday. And in the hols (right after camp) I'm going to the Blue Sky Film Festival, which is like a cocktail party! Should be loads of fun seeing those videos we made. (I played a cheerleader who didn't get head cheerleader and so tried to harm the girl who did. haha.) Yup. Fun times coming my way.
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Something else I've been thinking about...
God rarely provides the '
whys'.
In the book of Job, Job - who is a righteous man in God's eyes - undergoes suffering in the
extreme. His land, his lifestock, his children and even his health are taken away from him. He has done nothing to deserve this, and surely if anyone deserved justification, it would be this man. He remains faithful to God, still praising Him even while he is languishing in the dust with sores on his body. But when He asks God, "Why?", God doesn't answer him. God doesn't tell him about Satan's bet. God says, "I will question you, and you shall answer me" and then throws back to him a multitude of questions that reveals how much we
cannot know.
This struck me as unfair. I know I must concede that God is God and His discretion belongs to Him. I know that I cannot possibly darken His counsel with my words without knowledge. But if I were Job, and God threw me all those questions, I honestly don't know how I would feel. Overwhelmed of course, but would I feel my suffering was justified??
And then I came upon something Jesus cried as He hung on the cross, breathing His last.
"
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"
"My God, my God,
why have You forsaken me?"