Tuesday, May 23, 2006
10:25 pm
The idea that Ivan stole from Jill. Thanks to you both. =) Isn't it funny how everyone has all these things they want to say that never get said?
10 things I really want to say to certain people, but probably never will:
1. I'm really sorry that I feel this way about you. You probably don't know that I do, but it kills me sometimes, and with all my heart I wish it would go away. I will Never tell you about this, because I know how it will hurt you, but I promise you I am working to make it better.
2. You are just so perfect.
3. I know it's been ages, but I still miss those times we had. It hurts me when I hear about the kinds of things you have been up to since then. You have changed so much since the time we used to tell each other
everything. I know you remember. I wish we could go back. I don't know why, but I feel partly responsible for where you're at. Like if I'd been there I could've done something.
4. I'm not angry at you anymore. Really. Please don't feel guilty about all that any longer. There is nothing to forgive, you didn't do me any wrong. I'm really sorry I reacted the way I did. Now I think it is I who should have been apologising profusely. I'm really sorry...I must've made you think it was all your fault. Oh man I am so, so sorry. I hope you are doing better now.
5. It might amuse you to know I had a crush on you for ages. Like years. Haha.
6. I still don't quite understand why you suddenly turned so cold on me. I actually thought we were close...then...I don't know.
7. You make me really uncomfortable when you act like that. I just want us to be friends. I don't think I could cope with anything more than that, for...I don't know...at least quite a while.
8. Why is it just so difficult for you all to love each other?!
9. I want to apologise. But I know you'd rather not bring it up so yeah. I wish you knew I did feel really sorry.
10. I don't feel like that anymore, I really wish you would stop thinking I do. I know you're hiding something from me on purpose, and I know what it is. I respect your right not to want to tell me but I wish you wouldn't talk to me as if it were not the case. It's like you're trying to trick me into thinking otherwise. Like you're trying to test to see if you still have me. You do, but not like that.