Sunday, May 14, 2006
8:10 pm
I am ever so grateful.
To my best friend and closest confidante
Jesus.
For how much he comforts me
and simply loves me
so much that he rebukes me,
even then never ceasing to show his love for me.
I am so grateful.
I knew he would not let me wander and struggle
for a moment longer than I could bear.
He came and picked me up off the floor
just when I felt I couldn't get up anymore.
He put a joy in my heart
that makes my soul sing to him the very moment I wake.
Truly he has ruined me for himself -
because I can never have anyone else.
No one else could ever satisfy me the way he does.
No one. No lover, no friend, no anyone.
That the world would just see!
That they would just try to find him and not give up!
Because he is so worth it.
Sometimes when I fail him and run away to hide,
I manage to convince myself for a while that I am happy without him.
But even then I cannot deny that under all that, I am lost.
Wandering and restless and thirsty.
With him I feel like I am finally home.
And even just the relief is enough to overwhelm me.
I love him ever so much.
It doesn't matter if my world falls down now
because he is all that matters.
Everything else is so fleeting,
so unimportant, the moment we actually stop to think about it.
I find real rest just in knowing he is who he is.
Even when I don't feel him there,
even when I don't feel so good,
there is something unshakable in me that keeps me always hoping
and that's him.